pre-existence

she to he to we ]
not one but all
not together but against
intentions turn to action without hesitation or contemplation
regrets turn to suns and moons inside

nothing real
matters as much as how much you thought about what you wanted to happen and what you thought was going to happen and what you thought you wanted to happen until it happened not the way you thought you wanted it to happen or maybe it didnt happen
because it didnt have to.
it existed in your mind
and my mind
there
it happened
it was real
i couldnt tell anyone what actually happened
but the happening
of the dream world stings with the air that u cant find ANYWHERE ELSE
you know the air that wont let you yell for help
and the air that haunted the night with its  cry of silence
and rrrrung in your ears and
your abdomen sore with flutters of the touches u couldnt tell anyone that happened because it didnt actually happen

its okay ill just forget it
i mean
you can just forget it

I SAW U

US 395 N
green, dusty subaru
your driving, so safe and consistent

lane change choices -
well thought out
educated

my attachment to you
not romantic
but instinctual
yet i love you

this reference point is
safety
trust

your existence has no gender
in fact
you are not the driver at all
but the driving

together in synchronization
maybe we are the same
made of the same

our love was short lived
i pulled over around mile 47
my brother had to pee
bye bye

i cant finish anything

clinging like flames
to their fuel
slowly disintegrating
until destruction
we are in pieces of a whole
but the whole lost its density when it was hollowed by heartbreak
blah blah

can u see what im saying?
im a sad fuck and im trying to tell you of my woes