this is an old piece of writing i found. its just a recollection actually. skinny dipping.

direct quote
no changes
i might play with these words and organize them into a nice poem sometime soon but i like this for now because it makes me just a little bit sick

"being naked in the lake
other naked friends scattered around in the water like passengers of a sinking ship trying to find solace in themselves before they die in their own little space bubbles that could never intersect
they just floated at equal distances from each other without a care
i cant feel or hear or see anyone else but i  know theyre there
admiring the same endless sky
breathing the same breath-takingly chilly air
 but the water doesnt burn my naked body with its temperature because i dont care about it
i convinced myself that i was in the perfect place and that this is all there was and i was fine
therefore i knew it to be true 
i had to force air into my lungs to keep my chest above water
i could feel my ribs loose buoyancy as the air escaped through my lips and my body sunk under starting with my ankles and then my knees, and so on
the resurfacing of my face and the air biting my wet face slapped me into reality
my body was suddenly exhausted and i was breathing heavily
i could not tread water for any longer
but i was so far away from anything
so i took a deep breath and tried to calm myself
naturally, i could feel my body stuck to the surface of the water
i put my head under but kept it horizontal to the surface of the water
all of a sudden my world was on the other side of the water and my less-dense previous home didn’t feel right on my legs and toes and arms and fingers.
it was a struggle against gravity to move deeper into the air
i could much easier sink into my welcoming sky
i breathed out
slowly
as my lungs emptied i started to float up face down into the anti-sky
my stomach expanded as my ribs pulled in closer to each other
a small spurt of breath escaped my mouth and the bubbles tickled  my lips
it was then that i wanted to die
i didnt know why
so i accepted it and rotated my body vertically and calmly at the fixed point of my hips
i gasped for air and went back into the water and started slowly making my way back to my friends
i flipped over on my back and realized that it was darker than before
i watched the moonlight glow on my thighs and my stomach through the clear lake water
i wish i could have seen all the way to the bottom 
ive thought about my death almost everyday since then"